I don’t have a Real Job. I don’t have any chores, not exactly. So I go to sleep when I can and get up when I want to and eat when I get hungry. Sounds luxurious, doesn’t it? It can be. For the first year, maybe two. Then it gets to be…boring. And you feel kinda worthless since you’re not contributing to much of anything. And that worthlessness gets heavier and heavier.
Sure, I do the laundry. I feed the fish. When I can, I feed the critters. I am the main driver so I do errands or I drive us wherever we need to go. But my errands are limited. I don’t do the groceries. I can’t load/unload my chair by myself and I despise those slow poke battery operated humiliation things on wheels the stores have. (I seriously am going to start carrying a multi-tool with me and start clipping the back-up buzzers.) I can do maybe three walk-in errands if there is little to no standing around.
In an effort to be as worthy as I can, and to perhaps actually publish something, I am trying to establish a schedule. So far it isn’t working. Setting a schedule, that is. I don’t know if actually having one helps or not.
Any advice?
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Hey Paula, it sounds like you are feeling pretty aimless. Mind if I let the keyboard meander over your question?
I have made up little schedules for myself for years, and not followed them, and then wondered why I never accomplished the goals that the schedules “made time” for. It was not until I had dealt with a number of factors that I was able to begin *enjoying* the flow of an honest-to-god daily rhythm. (I like the word “rhythm” better than routine or schedule.) Know what made it happen? Bear… the dog… living indoors, and recently, Cedar also becoming an indoor dog (which she considers a long overdue promotion). Yep, the dogs saved my sorry insomniac life.
The dogs have to be walked at bedtime, and that’s my job because I have NEVER been a morning person. For the past 4 years, Robin is the “morning mom” and I am the “night-night mom”. Once the dogs have been outside at night, I take time to speak quietly and rub each pet behind the ears, thank them for being so good, maybe even strum a few soft guitar chords. They love that and all curl up in their places… and it relaxes me… so once I am in bed, my body gets the right signals, and I never can read for long until…zzzz.
Falling asleep at night was my first big hurdle. Took a lot of repetitions (months) before it really started to change. But being regular for the pets helped my body to begin trusting that rhythm too. Lo and behold… I began to notice, when it was time to get up in the mornings, pretty soon I actually wanted to get up so I could join Robin and the pets for quiet time over coffee before work. We don’t talk a lot in the mornings, we just like to all be there together as the light spreads across the sky.
I’ll be darned if I didn’t start wanting to eat a small breakfast at breakfast time, which I never used to do. Now that really helped me get my day going too. And I just mean a little cereal or toast, nothing fancy. By the time all this happens it’s usually 7:30-ish and time to go on to the office… It sounds to me like if you made it this far with the rhythm, you might then make your way to your desk and check e-mail & news… same as I do each morning when I get to work. And I schedule my sit-down and move-around tasks at work so they alternate every couple of hours.
Let’s see, then through the day you have: Laundry… Small snack… Write a coupla hours… Lunch, cleanup & switch laundry… Write couple more hours… Small snack… Hm, by now it should be around 3 pm, time for an errand or two… and then you’re home before rush hour. You’ve done all your usual stuff and allowed time for 4 hours of writing.
Shoot, nobody can tell you what will work for you. I sure was surprised when it turned out that being on a dependable schedule for the dogs started making a difference to my body as well. Just the sleeping and eating on time does wonders for me. Your milage may vary.
I like rhythm too! Much better word. Less…structured.
I do need to start training Mike. He’s way over 2 now and is more than ready.
Because of the “sugar”, I am having to eat breakfast now and plan out the other meal times based on Precious’ day, sugar readings, etc. I also have found that the more depressed I get, the more chocolate I eat. Right now I have Reese’s cups and Mtn. Dew at hand. I know I am going to need a light dinner (reminds me to take my meds…)
I have set an alarm to go off at 1am each night (morning?) and I start closing stuff down to try to be in bed by 2:30. Let the dogs out, clean up the kitchen (the dishwasher is my job, too), straighten up the Rose Room (office). Oh, and let the dogs back in.
In the morning, I let the dogs out and eat breakfast. Sometimes I get dressed and go to Waffle House. I then sit at the computer. Check email, visit my daily sites, read the news. At some point I’ll open a manuscript and read over what I last wrote.
Then Precious comes home. I’ve been trying to come out of my shell and spend more time with her. You’d think after 20.5 yrs we’d be tired of each others’ company.
So there is some rhythm, just not enough.
Insomnia is my second biggest problem. Like I said, I got one alarm to get me to start shutting down for the night and two to get me up in the morning. Slowly (and I do mean slowly) I am getting into a pattern with that. I can’t do anything in bed other than sleep. My body has to learn that lay down means sleep.
Sounds like your rhythm is taking shape, and you have the dog training to keep things interesting (and provide more blogging material). Maybe Mike is ready for something new. Yes, I thought the “sugar” challenge would be a part of the big picture too. Grrr, why does life have to be so difficult? Those of us who battle depression/ insomnia/ various food issues must keep on encouraging each other. Starting a new project, like the training, might just jump-start a ripple effect. Hope so… Yes, it takes a long time for a major shift in sleep patterns to get established. I’m here to tell you it gets better; one day your alarm will go off and you will actually feel rested.
It’s good to hear that after all these years, you two still are not tired of each other’s company. I hope to know what it is like, one day, to celebrate & survive 20 years together. Now that’s a rhythm!
Oh I so needed to read all this. A light has gone on. I feel less alone. Thank you Paula and Diane.
That’s what we’re here for!
And no, I still have no real schedule. Some other stuff came up.
I’m going through some big bouts of insomnia, too. Oh well. Someday maybe.