Here ya go. Let me know what you think.
Several hours and most of a case of beer later, Sam had reached a conclusion. “Let’s move.”
“I dunno. Somewhere that’s not a city. Not too hot, not too cold.”
“There’s nothing to keep me here. Nor you, for that matter. You’ll keep bumping into Ruth and I’ll never bump into whatshername.” Sam opened another beer bottle.
“You still hurting from her? It was a one-night stand, Sam. Get over it.”
“I don’t do one-night stands. And she said she didn’t either. Yet, well, don’t get me started. I’ve almost purged myself of her.”
“Must’ve been fantastic sex.” Ellen nudged Sam.
Sam sobered up for a moment. “The best I have ever had. But it wasn’t just the sex, although that alone was enough. It was the talking, the sharing, the laughing. You know?”
“Yeah, I know.” They were silent, each lost in their own thoughts. “So, we’re moving? Where to?”
“You got a map of the U.S. around here? A big one?”
“Nope, but we can make one.” Ellen weaved her way to her computer and opened her web browser. “Wikipedia is our friend.” Soon the printer was spitting out pages that they laid out on the floor to form the map.
“How many of these dead men are yours?” Sam pointed her unsteady hand toward the various empty bottles on the table and floor.
“Shit if I know.” Ellen giggled.
“Find the caps. We’ll toss them one by one onto the map.”
“Then we play connect the dots?”
“Nope. We see where they land and we choose where t’ move.”
“Oh! I get it now.” Ellen gathered the bottle caps within her reach while Sam did the same on her side of the floor. They began tossing them onto the map. Of course, it took a while since far too many of them missed the map altogether.
When they were done, they lay on the floor side-by-side and surveyed their choices. “I say take out all the Florida and Alabama ones. Too dang hot.” Ellen took off the Alabama ones and Sam removed Florida’s markers.
“And Washington. Nice state but I wouldn’t want to live there.”
“Isn’t that where one of those companies is? Are? Whatever?” It was Sam’s turn to have a giggle fit.
“Yep. Too hot.” Ellen flipped the cap to the side. “Louisiana?”
“Tornadoes.” At each of Sam’s responses, Ellen picked up the appropriate caps. “That leaves Virginia, North Carolina, Wyoming and both Dakotas.”
“Take off the Dakotas and Wyoming. Too cold.” Sam held out her hand for the caps.
“Two in North Carolina, and one in Virginia.”
“Then I’d say North Carolina wins.”