Month: May 2009

bookmark_borderDeath By Deletion

Posted on by PaulaO

I killed someone today. No, not a spider. Not even a “real” person, actually.

Simple Sarah, the novel I am working on (and have been for the past 5 yrs), had too many characters. The Sword-Swinging, Glow-In-The-Dark Priestess has had three others with her in the beginning of the book. So I killed one of them. And not even a funeral. I deleted her.

Tamara (that was her name) still exists but as I go through this rewrite, I am changing it and removing her. By the time I get to page 184, she will be gone. Death by deletion. What’s sad is that I won’t miss her. I’ll miss her horse more. Isn’t that sad? Amber (the horse) was a delicate “well-bred” who liked to crush skulls with her feet. She was a wanna-be warhorse. Tamara’s role in the book was minimal and frankly, never went anywhere. She died at the end of the first mammoth writing of the book. She never really did anything. In one re-write, she was the lost daughter of the King but, eh, that was one plot line too many.

I don’t have conversations with my characters. They don’t talk to me. Which is good ’cause I’d freak if Tamara were to be pleading for her life. Worse yet would be if Amber were to appear and start wanting to crush my skull. I’m insane enough, thank you. I don’t need fictional characters talking to me. I do, however, see them in movies. They act out a scene or something and I get an idea for how the scene works or doesn’t work. And Tamara wasn’t working. She just didn’t fit and was a named extra. (Tamara, the sidekick vs Archer #4)

The removal of Tamara caused a minor plot problem that, in fixing it, made the overall plot more believeable anyway. The overall time line has shifted by two years. Lea (the Sword-Swinging, Glow-In-The-Dark Priestess) and the other two with her are now two years younger. This is better, much better.

So, Tamara, it was good to know you. And Amber, sweetie, in reality, you were too delicate boned a horse to be able to crush skulls so well. Perhaps, if I find I miss you two, I’ll put you in somewhere in the Big Final Battle in book three. But then, I’d only kill you off again.

bookmark_borderSNAKE!!

Posted on by PaulaO

I’m not afraid of much. Except moths. They abso-freakin’-lutely terrify me. Yes, moths.

I don’t like spiders, especially those big huge things we get around here. I am not ashamed to say that I kill them when they are in the house. Outside, hey, that’s their territory and I will gladly leave them alone. Inside the house, smush.

I am not a fan of snakes. I used to be really afraid of them but watching Animal Planet with Jeff Corwin and the late Steve Irwin has shown me that they can be good things, just not near me. And, just like the spiders, they do not belong in my house.

This afternoon I am writing away, really into what I was doing. Joella was in the bedroom and the gate was up. She wanted out so was doing her “bunny hop” thing and grumbling. Mike had been nosing me for a while and I would put down a hand to pet him but I was really really really into what I was writing. Finally I get to a place where I could stop and I put the chair in reverse, pivoted around, and prepared to get my fat butt up so I could let Jo out.

And there, right there, right there on the living floor – is a snake.

I admit that I screamed like a girl. You know the kind, the one who wanders out in her skimpy lingerie armed only with a flashlight because she heard an ax murderer was in her neighborhood. Yeah, one of those screams. My throat still hurts.

Meanwhile, Jo stops bunny hopping and Mike is happy to see I am moving. He’s not freaked out by the scream at all. I try to get him away from the snake (which was kinda curled up) but he’s dancing and I’m yelling and Jo’s doing her bunny thing again. I finally get her out of the bedroom and everyone at least out of the living room. Now what?

I see that a chunk of tail is missing and it’s got some nasty wounds that are about Mike sized. Yep, my darlin’ boy brought me a pressy. Ain’t he sweet? NOT. I call Lorna to tell her I love her before I try to scoop the snake up. She’s laughing her ass off and says she’ll be home in about half an hour to take care of it. Oh, like I could wait that long? I keep her on the phone but put it down while I use a big envelope to scoop the snake up into a bucket. The poor thing was barely alive at that point. I tell Lorna I survive and to stop laughing at me.

The snake died shortly after I moved it, if it was even still alive at that point. The movement could have been just dead body twitching stuff.

I took some pictures and hit the Internet to identify it. At first we thought it was a juvenile black snake but it wasn’t quite right. Finally I found it: an Eastern Garter Snake. Harmless just like the black snakes, they are quite common around here. I gave Mike a big lecture on not bringing toys from outside into the house. I don’t think he got the idea but it’s a start.

Lorna got home and a few minutes later, she sees that all the dogs are standing around the dog bed in the living room, staring at something Mike has. No, not another snake, but a mouse. So, no, he didn’t get the point of the lecture. Lorna took care of the mouse.


Eastern Garter Snake (image from FocusOnNature.com)

bookmark_borderAdoring Fans

Posted on by PaulaO

Fans come from the strangest places.

Friday I helped someone (I’ll call her J) move from her parents’ place to her own place. She was living in a Class C camper (meaning it had a cab and an engine) in her parents’ back yard. Also living in the camper was her husband and two of her kids. The new place is a mobile home with tilting floor but it has plenty of space compared to the camper! These folks are doing the best they can with what they have. The kids are cool and the husband, while slightly deranged, is also cool.

J. is a waitress at my version of “Cheers”: Waffle House. She’d heard I’d written a book and told me she wanted a copy for her sister (who is a lesbian). I got her two copies so she could read it too. She hasn’t finished it yet (bet its kinda hard to read in that cramped camper) but she shared it with her mother. I met her mom Friday. This woman was ecstatic to meet me. Why? Because I have a published book that she is reading. She is intrigued with knowing a writer and loves the book (she’s not finished with it either). While the guys loaded a car after loading my truck (I think it was load #2), I got to sit on the porch with J’s parents. It was a fun (and too short!) conversation about marriage, people, kids, neighbors, and life as we saw it.

Her mom wants another BG book and isn’t interested in a Fantasy novel. Her husband (J’s husband, that is) said if butch girls can fix anything then he’s gonna line up a bunch of stuff for me. Sigh. Men, tsk.

bookmark_borderOh, the Irony!

Posted on by PaulaO

Okay, a little back story. Lorna and I moved here in ’92. The idea behind it was for me to follow a dream of being a potter. Lorna had been laid off from her job of 14 yrs or so and I disliked my job (read: burnout). We looked into various colleges and programs (which is another story, too long for right now) and eventually settled on the Haywood Community College and their Production Craft Program. And I loved it. I excelled in it. As good a writer as I am, I was an even better potter. While I was studying pottery, learning not just the craft but the business behind it, we learned of other programs and schools. One was the John C. Campbell Folk School. They had a yearly wood fired pottery class that I wanted to take. Unlike HCC that offered year round classes and a degree, John C. Campbell offered classes that ranged from either a weekend to all the way up to a three week course. I never got the chance to go take it, though. Real life stepped in and after a series of events, I found myself on disability, unable to be much of anything and certainly not the physically demanding art of pottery.

Fast forward to tonight. I had heard of a newish WNC writers literary online thingybob so I looked it up. I’m not sure how far off the ground it is though. Anyway, as I wandered the rather unorganized website, I came across a link to a place offering writing classes. Guess where? John C. Campbell Folks School. One or two of them I am kinda interested in. But could I actually go there? Could I actually take a class there? I’ve never looked to see if HCC offered anything. Don’t think I could go there either. Losing pottery was like losing a large chunk of me. I’ve never forgiven my body for letting me down, for falling apart and making me limp away from that.

The answer is no. I can’t. The classes may be the best thing since literary sliced bread but I can’t do it. I won’t even put myself in that position. The good news is that the classes don’t appear to be the best thing since literary sliced bread. Another community college (A-B Tech), one much closer than HCC and certainly closer than John C. Campbell, offers some good classes. Maybe I’ll go there.