From CripHumor:
“Doctor, Doctor, You’ve got to help me – I just can’t stop my hands shaking!”
“Do you drink a lot?”
“Not really – I spill most of it!”
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A miracle drug is one that has now the same price as last year.
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Lady says to pharmacist: “Why does my prescription medication have 40 side effects?”
Pharmacist replies: “Cause that’s all we’ve documented so far.”
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A man goes to the eye doctor. The receptionist asks him why he is there. The man complains, “I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes.” The receptionist asks, “Have you ever seen a doctor?” and the man replies, “No, just spots.”
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What’s the difference between a general practitioner and a specialist?
One treats what he thinks you have, the other thinks you have what he treats.
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The ER resident began his examination by asking his patient what brought him to the hospital. The man replied, “An ambulance.”
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Psychiatrist to his nurse: “Just say we’re very busy. Don’t keep saying ‘It’s a madhouse.'”
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A psychologist returned from a conference in Aspen lodge, where all the psychologists were permitted to ski for free.
Her husband asked her, “How did it go?”.
She replied, “Fine, but I’ve never seen so many Freudians slips.”