Soon, as in, early September, I plan on ordering a bunch of my books. I’ll be sending some to Ruta who recently bought Amazon Books in Minneapolis. These will be signed and have a sticker that says “Winner of Goldie” or something like that. GCLS provides 50 stickers to the winners. (and I’m one of ’em!)
The rest of them I’ll keep around for whatever reason comes to mind. Such as for you guys and dolls.
If you would like one of the books, signed however way you want it, let me know. You’ll have to pay for it, of course, but it won’t cost any more than an unsigned book. And if anyone already have one and want it signed, send it to me. I promise to send it back. Just email me (you can use the contact page) with your information.
I won’t kiss it though. That’s a femme thing.
I hope to be able to finally have a reading (shudder) or signing at Malaprops soon. And hopefully another at a bookstore in Sylva (you reading this Robyn??) I hope to sweet talk other writers into joining me at both locations, probably Jane Vollbrecht. These are things I’ve been meaning to do (I know it is hard to believe, but I don’t like limelight) but keep putting off. With BGCFA now a Goldie winner and at least one other BG book coming out (yes, yes, I am writing it), it may become an obligatory thing.
Yea… where’s MY book ????
Snort. Like you’d read it. Yer wifey poo has one. If you really want one, I’ll put you on the list.
I won’t kiss it though. That’s a femme thing.
Awww, shucks it ain’t even worth the effort then. :o)
Lin and Angie
Yea but WE don’t have one that’s signed or have a fancy smatcy sticker!
don’t forget the little people…. (we’re not worthy….. we’re not worthy……)
Angie! How are you two doing! We must do dinner. Soon. Or else I will be forced to break my glasses just to see Lin again. You’re the one with the goofy schedule. Tell us where to meet you and when. Just not prior to 5 on Saturdays since Lorna’s sub retired. And not on Mondays since that is Hell Day at the post office.
Kev: Fine fine. But only if you promise not the read it! There’s things in there that will make you blush. And right, you are not worthy, but I shall stoop to your level. Just this once.
Me? Blush? Yea, sure.
What would be in that book that would make me ….. OH GOOD LORD! THEY WHAT???
rofl!!
Yes, Kev, they did that. And more. At least twice.
But there is some violence! And DIY stuff. OH!! And you car is in it! That old Dodge Dart Swinger Plymouth Valiant!
eeewwwww…. Really??
OMG! That old car?? Wow, it’s legacy lives on…..
I could write a book on that poor thing. Make it a Frankenstein type of car. IT LIVES….. IT LIVES… BWAAAHHHHAHAHAH…..
Direct from the book itself:
And from Butch Girls and Stereotypes (aka BG3):
HA!! OMG!!
Yea, it ran good alright… I think it got 9 MPG… (or was that 9 GPM)…
It was an 8 cyld. Fast but thirsty!
Then there was the starter… Oh nevermind, I could go on and on….
I know. I couldn’t help but have that be the car the character (Kelly) had to drive. She’d beaten up her kitchen and was one-handed for a long time. The Dodge was automatic so it was easy for her to drive (vs her big honkin’ Chevy dually work truck with its manual transmission). Lucy, the kid that is part Ryan, part Kelli, loves the thing.
Harri is a mechanic and keeps the car around as a loaner (that no one wants) or for her own use whenever her Impala (a ’65) is out of commission (she’s always doing something to it like taking out the engine or swapping out the transmission or something like that).
Some writers have conversations with their characters. They actually hear them and talk to them and stuff. I’m nuts enough without tossing that oddity into the mix. I see my characters act out scenes, like a movie in constant rewind/edit/play mode. But I still have to know what is going on in their heads. I guess it is like a director telling an actress “Once again with feeling.” or whatever.
Any other stuff you want to tell me about that car? Did it have a name? Did I get the year right? I think it was not that old.
I think it was a ’74 or ’75.
I had the name Johnny for it. Named after the song “Johnny B. Goode”.
It had it’s own smoke screen. All I had to do was stomp on the gas.
One of the funny stories I had for it was the starter issue.
There was a time when the hot wire to the starter was bad and loose. Naturally it was one of those deals where they built the engine around the starter so it was a b–, uh, bugger to get to. So until I found the time to work on it, there were times when I would turn the key to start it and nothing would happen. So I would keep a broomstick in the car to reach down to the starter and bang on it to help the wire connect. After awhile I found I could just keep the key turned to the start position and “stomp” on the side of the car (at the doorway) and that would give the starter a “jump” (basically what was happening was the hot wire making better contact on each “stomp”) so, picture this in your mind, here you would see me standing next to the car with the door open, the right hand inside holding the key to the start position, the right foot stomping the car at the doorway. I would keep stomping until the car started. I had to stand outside the car because I found it to work better than me still sitting inside and stomping (I guess less weight to help with the tremors of me stomping).
Yea, this didn’t last too long. I finally took the time to replace the wire, nut, and washer to the starter.
The body on the poor thing was rusted.
There was a time that Rob and I were driving along the river (where else?) and we here a big “pop”. Found out that the main frame along the passenger side snapped in half!
Then there was my old girlfriend driving the car in her apartment parking lot while I stood outside watching. She would drive the perimeter of the lot. On one of the rounds she panicked and lost control and plowed the car to a wall at a 45-degree angle. Once I made it to the car she was so frightened and was looking to turn the car off. I just reached inside and turned the key. After I found out she was OK, she was shocked with my next reaction. I started laughing. “Wow, you did a good job. Wall: 1 Car: 0”. She was so scared as to what I would do to her. I knew it was an accident and with her so shaken up, how could I be mad. So, with help, I got an old Plymouth Valiant and took it’s front and used it to replace my banged up front. As for the engine, I took a come-along and straightened it out. I had to replace the radiator but that was all I did to it. This story is where it got the unique name. The original car was called a Doge Dart Swinger and with the new front from the Plymouth Valiant, I just kept the metal decals from the old front and hammered it onto the replacement front. Therefore the whole car name would read “Dodge Dart Swinger Plymouth Valiant”
ROFLMAO!!
Yep, I remember that! I remember the girlfriend, too. That was the little b-, er, witch, that was so short we stood her on the kitchen table to reach the light to hang decorations for something. Your birthday, maybe? What was her name? Anyway, soooo glad you saw the light and switched to Col. She’s a sweetheart, but don’t tell her I said that. (grin) I much prefer your spawns be from her than the other.
You tied it to the tree near the sidewalk, didn’t you? Like it was on a leash or something. Wasn’t that also the car that I drove across the Burlington-Bristol bridge and swore I would kill you before I did it again? Didn’t it drive sideways or something?
Anyway, how could I resist not putting that thing in a book somewhere?
Hey, don’t pick on dear Wendy. She was a good girl, just WAY too stuck to her drunk mother. We didn’t make it because of that. It was either I or her mother (in her mind not mine).
Anyways, I did use a tree to tie the come-along from the engine and even the frame to straighten it out.
Driving it over the BBB? I guess that would be the car. It swayed more than other cars. On the BBB, a swaying car can make a lot of people nervous. But ya know what, I always noticed my cars swaying on that bridge, even this new one. It has to do with the grading at the peak and it’s influence on tires.
Driving sideways… well I guess it would have. HA! I remember when I took it to Pepboys to have an alignment done they called me later to give me a list of things that had to be done to that poor car before they would even ATTEMPT to do an alignment. I mean the list included body work and shocks. After they got through all I had to do, I just said “Yea, I’ll get right on that….”. Never did (no duh).
Never would pass the state inspection at the public state inspection stations. I kept taking it to a certain used car dealer and after paying a little chunk, it would pass (hhmmmmm, how about that).
Wendy wasn’t good for you, dude, in a lot of ways. You were young and blinded by lus-, er, love.
And yeah, I never liked the BBB. Too narrow, too high, and too narrow. Oh, and it is very narrow.
We need a PepBoys here. The truck, bless its heart, needs wheel bearings (again) and an alignment. Lorna finally got her Subaru back on the road so I have My Truck back. She so owes me a paint job on that poor thing.