bookmark_borderNo, Really….

Here’s one for the “No shit” category.

Study: Family behavior key to health of gay youth

By LISA LEFF

SAN FRANCISCO (AP) – Young gay people whose parents or guardians responded negatively when they revealed their sexual orientation were more likely to attempt suicide, experience severe depression and use drugs than those whose families accepted the news, according to a new study.

The way in which parents or guardians respond to a youth’s sexual orientation profoundly influences the child’s mental health as an adult, say researchers at San Francisco State University, whose findings appear in Monday’s journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics.

“Parents love their children and want the best for them,” said lead researcher Caitlin Ryan, a social worker who directs the university’s Family Acceptance Project. “Now that we have measured all these behaviors, we can see that some of them put youth at extremely high risk and others are wellness-promoting.”

(snip)

One of the most startling findings was that being forbidden to associate with gay peers was as damaging as being physically beaten or verbally abused by their parents in terms of negative feedback, Ryan said.

No, really. This is what the study found to be true. My forehead is bruised from slapping it. Did they really need a study to know this?

In the two-part study, Ryan and her colleagues first interviewed 53 families with gay teenagers to identify 106 specific behaviors that could be considered “accepting” or “rejecting.” For example, blaming a youth for being bullied at school, shielding him from other relatives or belittling her appearance for not conforming to social expectations fell into the rejecting category.

Next, they surveyed 224 white and Latino gay people between ages 21 and 25 to see which of the behaviors they had experienced growing up. The responses then were matched against the participants’ recent histories of severe depression, suicide attempts, substance abuse and unsafe sexual behavior.

While the results might seem intuitive, Ryan said the study, funded by the California Endowment, was the first to establish a link between health problems in gay youths and their home environments.

But not all is lost, it seems. The researcher is using this data in classes and lectures. Further in the article:

Doctors, in a misguided attempt to comfort parents, may tell them a child who isn’t sexually active couldn’t know if he were gay or not, Ryan said.

“When providers and adults and family members think of gay people, they think of sex. They don’t think of emotional attraction or social interaction or spiritual connectedness or deep-rooted psychological feelings,” she said.

Exactly! I wish everyone would refer to it as same-gender attraction vs same-sex attraction.

“So many families of children who are gay, bisexual or transgender, particularly families of gay male youth, think that if they are tough on the kid and tell him how unsatisfactory his gay lifestyle is to the family, he will have it knocked out of him,” Vermund said.

Vermund said he also was impressed by Ryan’s finding that a little bit of familial acceptance could go a long way in increasing a child’s chances for future happiness.

The Southern Baptist doesn’t have to become a Unitarian,” he said. “Someone can still be uncomfortable with their child’s sexual orientation, but if they are somewhat more accepting and do the best the can, they will do the youth a lot of good. That to me is an important message.”

(link to full article)

(bolding of the text is mine)

The Family Acceptance Project: http://familyproject.sfsu.edu/

bookmark_borderHoliday Blues

Is it just me, or was this just a flat holiday time? Probably just me.

Santa skipped over our house this year. He said we’ve spent far too much money on critter care and must wait until January. He did give us a rain-check on a new fridge, though, so perhaps I can forgive him for noticing our lack of a proper budget.

Mary at Asheville Pets did give us a big bag of stuff for the critters, though. We’ve shopped there for going on 15yrs and know each other quite well. The stuffed toys were traded between Jo and Mike until Jo settled on the Nylabone. Sam isn’t allowed stuffed toys since he de-stuffs them in mere seconds so he had another Nylabone. The stuffed gorilla had a sound thing in it that I removed but Mike loved it anyway. He also loved the tree even though the squeaker was muffled.


PopCorn pouted all day since she is having to wear the helmet. She keeps licking the stitches on her foot and leg. She’s not happy at all about it. I keep telling her they will only be in there for another week but I don’t think she really is listening.

Other than being entertained by the dogs, it was a quiet day.

bookmark_borderLife

My back is out (for lunch, I think) and sitting-up time is limited. The shoulder is doing better, the knees are improving, and the headaches are roaring along just like always.

Mike is doing well, still not house trained, though. (check out his website)

Lorna went up Nawth and safely returned. Her sister got married! (congrats Karin and Chris!)

The truck needs a transmission. Anyone with $2000 dollars they can spare?

PopCorn had the growths on her foot removed in a tough 2hr surgery on Friday. She was rather stoned so we didn’t get to bring her home until Saturday. She’s doing good and is putting weight on the leg. It looks nasty, though.

bookmark_borderDining Experience

Was going over my RSS feeds and read the headline for a Wired News article. “Atari Founder’s Bistro Swaps Touchscreens for Waiters (Sort Of)“. Can’t resist that title, right?

It’s a funny article.

Every table in the joint has a built-in monitor, and all ordering is done via touchscreen, making waiters obsolete. Oddly, a waiterlike person appears at my table. “Welcome to uWink,” he says brightly. “Can I explain how things work here?” I look at the screen. It beckons me to swipe my credit card or driver’s license. Seems pretty straightforward. “So what you want to do is swipe your credit card or driver’s license,” he says. Do I have to tip this guy ? Or maybe I’m supposed to tip the computer. What if I don’t? Maybe it’s coded with a cheapskate-detecting algorithm that will mess up my order next time. The rules to this game are more slippery than I bargained for.

bookmark_borderPopCorn (the dog)

We wanted to wait until we knew more before telling everyone about PopCorn.

Pop’s been slowing down eating her food for a week or two but we thought it was a tooth issue. Then last Monday night (12/1), she hurled up her dinner. Tuesday morning, she wouldn’t eat at all. That is soooo not Pop’s thing. She loves food. We were able to get an appt for her that day with our usual vet.

PopCorn is a Foxhound dog. She has a tick disease (Ehrlichia) and has had a fibrous tumor removed from her foot (which has since grown back). We were thinking the Ehrlichia had raised its head again.

The vet (the wondrous Dr. Knepshield) felt a mass in PopCorn’s belly. X-rays showed a huge mass attached to her spleen. She was also quite anemic. After discussing it with the vet and staff, we decided to do a blood transfusion over night and have mass removed the next morning. One of the staff persons was able to go home and get her dog to use as a donor. The next day, Dr. Bayer did the surgery. PopCorn’s anemia had improved significantly which showed there was not an “active” bleeding happening. However, there was still a lot of blood inside. As the surgery progressed, PopCorn’s blood pressure dropped and Dr. Knepshield was called in to assist to finish it up quickly.

Today we were told of the pathology report.

The mass was indeed cancer but it is a rare type. It is “fibrous-something-nodule” that sometimes can form on the spleen. This type of cancer is very slow growing and the dogs can live for a year or more before the cancer metastasizes. This is great news! The only other dog they’d had in that office with this cancer lived nearly 2 yrs. If it had been the usual type of spleen cancer, we were looking at 3-4 mos tops for PopCorn.

No, we will not be doing chemotherapy. We’ve discussed it several times in the past week. It came down to quality of life. We want PopCorn’s remaining time with us to be comfortable, pleasant, and fun. Next week, she’ll go in for surgery again to remove the tumors from her foot. It returned a while ago but now there is a second one higher up on the leg in what would be our forearm, between those two bones. She’s stopped putting weight on that leg so removing the tumors will relieve her of pain. Dr. Knepshield is curious about the pathology of these tumors since the last one was also a fibrous tumor (although benign).

I’ll keep everyone updated on Pop’s progress.

bookmark_borderWeird, Wacky, and Wonky

That’s how the computers have been for me lately. First the internet connection was acting up (got a new cable modem). Then I upgraded my servers with my website host and my sites went down for several days (a bad script or something on their end). Next I upgraded the main site’s WordPress install and it promptly went down (no clue exactly but a wide variety of fixes was needed and it’s still not acting right). Then I made Mike his own site with WordPress and, you guessed it, that went bad (not sure what was wrong there either, but it is working).

Normally, WordPress works great. But I’m not sure about the latest version. Each time I install it, either myself or through Dreamhost’s “One-Click Install”, something goes wrong. Then yesterday, this blog was not letting me into the admin section. I hadn’t done the upgrade because the others were so mucked up. No clue what was wrong but it is working, so far, today. I did do a virus and spyware/malware check on this laptop and did a hard boot. Nothing came up but who knows?

Anyway, life goes on. Mike is growing, Joella is jealous, PopCorn is ill (more on that in a few days), Sam is playing with Mike, Casey is still being her usual obnoxious self, and Lorna is just as wonderful as ever. I must’ve done something wonderfully good in my otherwise normal childhood in order to deserve such a wonderful partner. She’s beautiful, smart, a great cook, got a glorious singing voice, and yet, she loves me. How weird, wacky, and wonky is that?

bookmark_borderHousetraining a Puppy

…is a pisser of a job. Pun intended.

I got this 3mos old pup and 4 older dogs. The back door opens onto the back porch which is connected to the dog lot. All I have to do is open the door and out the monsters go. Easy.

Until the pup. It’s really not good for him to just be let outdoors. He needs to understand that outdoors is not just play time but poop and pee time. So after several days of cleaning piddle puddles, we’ve backed up to evaluate just what the heck we are doing.

I’ve hit the ‘net and read a lot of advice. Some of it is weird, some of it just plain wrong, some of it actually makes sense. House training a puppy is a science full of opinion and myth. You want the pup to understand where to go and where not to go. And the human has to learn how the pup tells them it has to go (which usually means “I gotta go NOW”). Mike and I need to learn to understand each other.

Luckily, Mike is old enough to grasp the situation soon. I am soooooo glad I didn’t get a younger dog.

Other than the piddles and piles, Mike is doing great. He and Sam play several times a day. He loves to nap laying next to or within sight of Joella. He knows to avoid Casey. He’s friends with Sassafras but he and Callie have a spitting relationship. As in he likes to irritate her so she will spit on him. She’s tried to rip him a new nose hole several times but the little snot is too fast.

I’ve got some more pictures and some video of him and Sam playing. I’ll upload them. Someday. Maybe.

bookmark_borderThe Internet as Art

I found an article today about a new domain extension thing (they’re called top-level domain). On the sidebar of the article was a cool image called The Internet Map. Isn’t it beautiful?


attributed to Matt Britt
larger, more detailed version

The description says:

Partial map of the Internet based on the January 15, 2005 data found on opte.org. Each line is drawn between two nodes, representing two IP addresses. The length of the lines are indicative of the delay between those two nodes. This graph represents less than 30% of the Class C networks reachable by the data collection program in early 2005. Lines are color-coded according to their corresponding RFC 1918 allocation as follows:

* Dark blue: net, ca, us
* Green: com, org
* Red: mil, gov, edu
* Yellow: jp, cn, tw, au, de
* Magenta: uk, it, pl, fr
* Gold: br, kr, nl
* White: unknown

bookmark_borderIntroducing Mike

Mike, Mikey, Michael, Big Mike, Mikeman, The Mikester.


Look at that alert face!


I just love that white chest.


While I was taking photos of him on the floor, I saw Jo sitting all regal and snapped one of her. When I was going over them later, I realized the two images were telling quite a story! Mike’s got some growing to do!
(click images for larger version)

We did go to see Happy but, as adorable as he was, he didn’t pass the working dog temperament test. He’s a good dog and will make someone an excellent pet but for me and my needs, he wouldn’t have worked out.

They also had two puppies left from a litter of 8 and while I was testing Happy, I tested them, too. Basically it was to give him a break between each test and to make it fun for him and everyone else. The two puppies passed the primary tests. One of them seemed more alert about what was going on. The other was probably exhausted from a day of play. I did all the tests on the one and decided he would be a great working dog. His name was Flintstone Bedrock. I discussed it with the rescue lady and with Lorna and we brought Flint home. After several days of trying to figure out a name, we settled on Mike. It is a fluctuating name that can grow with him and his moods.

For the first few days, we were worried it would not work out due to Sam not tolerating him. Happily though, the two of them are playing and liking each other! Phew!

Mike is 3 mos old, born the last week of August. Joella’s birthday is August 28th so we decided they’d share a birthday. Mike, his siblings, his mother, and Happy were dropped off at an animal shelter. The rescue group got them from there. The mother was nearly starved to death and the pups were so hungry they were trying to nurse each others’ tails. The vet had to amputate them (so the docked tail was not cosmetic, but necessary) due to infection and the like. Mike is not house trained but we are working on it. It is something I have to get serious about. I don’t think it will take long once I do that since he is such a smart little boy. Anyone have any pointers?

That’s all for now. I’ll be uploading more images and a few videos soon.