bookmark_borderStruggling

My push to write has ground to a halt. Bits and pieces of flotsam and jetsam have jammed my gears. It is irritating.

Meanwhile, I’ve read some truly awful books (with poor editing and copy editing, too!) and while I know I can do better than that, I just can’t seem to get it going.

I did have some flashes of inspiration and wrote out several two page somethings. One was very very weird. Weirder than my normal weird. I deleted it. The other two I saved. Maybe some day, if you are nice, I might share. Don’t hold yer breath though.

I still can’t just let myself go and write whatever comes off the tips of my fingers as they bang the keys. The three short stories (more like flash fiction) kinda helped, but I can’t seem to do it on the current WIPs. Very frustrating.

I hurt my back today. I bent over. Silly of me, I know. My shoulder is killing me, too. When Fay was giving us the much needed rain, I was drugged to keep the pain at bay or at least to a dull roar. Monster Blue is still at the repair shop. Come to find out, the monkeys in Charlotte had freakin’ unplugged everything underneath. They’d opened the battery compartment and unplugged everything. Since I’d had trouble with it before that, I didn’t think to actually look. But while Mobility Concepts had the thing, they did some upgrading for safety reasons. I had a busted armrest (damn flimsy plastic on a place where people put their weight to transfer) and was missing both armrest pads (one blew off on the way to Atlanta three years ago). I can go get Blue at any time while they wait for the parts. And I can, now, since Lorna finally got her car on the road and I have My Truck back.

At any rate, there ya go.

bookmark_borderTime Lines

Arrgh.

The current direction of BG2 just ain’t gonna work. I have Ellen and Sam moving down together (from Philly). But it’s just not working. I can’t do Nikki and Ellen’s plot with Sam and Chaz’s going on, too. The time line just isn’t coming together right. And it’s just not time, it’s plot. That thing that readers kinda hope happens when they buy a book, yanno? Silly readers. What do they know, right?

Anyway, I’ve now got to back up and make it Ellen moves down alone, but perhaps Sam comes with her maybe, to help? Then returns up Nawth? She needs to come down later to meet Chaz again, but right now, it just isn’t working.

Sometimes I wish my characters DID talk to me, ’cause then I’d put their fictional asses to work! You don’t like where I’m taking you? FINE! Where do you want to go? I figure if I fall asleep during the movie in my head, then the book isn’t working as it is.

Dammit. And I’d crossed the 10K line today, too!

bookmark_borderMisc. Updatages

In my buzz to get prepared for the GCLS Con as well as Real Life events, I’ve been neglecting some websites lately. There’s several I’ve not visited nor commented about here.

Bad news first. My good on-line friend, Winston Rand, died unexpectedly. I have a long list of RSS feeds and I at the least scan over the subject lines at least once every two days. So when I saw the same subject line had been there for much longer than usual, I went to visit his blog, Nobody Asked…. The title of the post was “Voice, Stilled“.

(snip)
Winston…he was a “pretty good guy.” This is how he wanted everyone to remember him.

Actually, Winston was a damn good guy. He was the most honest and caring and giving man I have ever known. I am so fortunate and blessed to have known Winston Rand, to have been married to him for 14 years.

Winston passed away Saturday, June 28, after a 38-hour illness and 3 surgeries totaling 12 hours in an attempt to save his life. His memorial service will be Tuesday, July 1, and will include things you may have seen on his blog, such as his recent post about the styrofoam cup that got tossed about in the traffic of life and found its resting place. His favorite song will be played — “The Rainbow Connection,” by Kermit the Frog, as well as a bluegrass version of Rocky Top.
(snip)

Roomie, what Winston called his wife on his blog, wrote the post. It is a beautiful post and you must go read it (link to full post and all the comments). Roomie is a writer and a damn good one, too.

I was struck numb by the news. Winston was so full of life, so full of crap, that it just didn’t seem possible for him to be gone. But he is. Or, he was. Winston posted another blog entry today titled Bring It On.

(snip)
Now I — and mind you, I am ashes sitting on the end table in the living room — am getting a $360 bill from AT&T for contract termination fees. Too bad, they say. No such thing as extenuating circumstances. They’re sorry I am dead. But they don’t care. I’ve got to pay that fee. It’s a contract, after all. A contract is a legal document. Legal documents go with you to the grave and beyond. They wish they could help, but they can’t. AT&T is a big boy and they aim to keep their side of the bargain.

So folks, I’m back! At least according to AT&T. I’ve got to pay my phone bill till January of 2010. Now I’ve just got to figure out how to get my ass, uh, ashes up and together and get out and earn some money to pay that damn bill because, well, it’s a contract and AT&T really needs that $360!
(snip)

Sheesh. So even though you freakin’ die, you are still stuck with the phone bill?

***

Next up is some other bad news. Lew Scott is battling cancer. Three kinds, actually. Lucky him is one of those people with this “cancer gene” thingamabob. At any rate, Lew was doing good there for a while, but it seems he is losing the battle he was not going to win anyway. But he is giving it the good fight. His wife, Elena, is a good friend of mine. I hate that she has to go through this. I hate that any one does. You can read the latest over at her blog, The Scott Times. Please keep both of them in your prayers, whatever format they take.

***

On some good news, Sam Andersen is dong great! There’s a recent scare but it came down to a bad reaction to Sudafed, of all things! Sam is the son of another friend of mine, Jean. A little over two years ago, Sam was moving a car and somehow had a bad accident that resulted in major brain injury. Sam is in there but it is difficult to communicate with him due to a long list of reasons. At any rate, check out Sam’s story and Journal over at the Caring Bridge site.

On the afternoon of Saturday, April 8, 2006 after a great day with his Dad, and friend Jim from CA at the car swap meet, Sam was involved in an accident within a half mile of our home. He was moving the car to work on a project in the garage..wasn’t going anywhere, and we were shocked to find him missing when the EMT and sheriff came to the door with the news. Sam was wearing a seatbelt..there are no marks on the road..or off..to help us understand what happened. It really doesn’t matter at this point. All we care about is is his returning to us..Sam is 19, the youngest of 6 brothers and one sister..and uncle to Rosie 5, Amelie 6mos, and Lily 4wks. We’re all waiting, Sam, especially Rose.

***

On a non-RSS feed-slash-subscription note, I am writing TWO Butch Girl novels. I can’t decide which one I want to write so I am doing them both. I know, I know, I’m bonkers. But knowing me, and trust me, I know me weller than you know me, I will settle on just one within the week. Or two. Hopefully by my January deadline.

bookmark_borderInsomnia again

Arrgh. I hate this!

I went to bed at around 12:30, a little earlier than usual but I’d been up most of the night before. Laid there until 1:45ish. Dozed off until 3ish. Then woke up at 5ish. And here I am. Awake.

Part of the problem is I am hating my CPAP mask. I can’t breathe out very well and it drives me nuts!

Good news is that I did some editing/smerging/writing last night and hope to pick it up again today. I went through all of my BG3 versions and made a text file of notes of what each one had, what I thought of it, etc. If it weren’t like, oh, 300 pages total, I’d print all the versions out, take a pair of scissors, and cut out the parts I like, tape it together, make notes, and rewrite it.

Hmm, sounds like I may need to get a new printer cartridge.

bookmark_borderHow Do I Write Thee…

…let me count the ways.

BGCFA started as a title.

Simple Sarah/The Blessed started as an idea.

Mutts From Wayback started as a joke.

Butch Girls and Stereotypes (aka BG3) was already an idea when something happened to trigger the title.

Currently, I am working on Simple Sarah and BG3. I keep waffling between the two as to which one should get all of my attention. I am doing some light editing and filling in some spaces on Simple Sarah but doing some major changes (again, dammit) to BG3.

All this and trying to avoid moving my head and getting another migraine. I am so freakin’ tired of headaches. I really am.

bookmark_borderHeadaches

I slept wonky last night and woke up with a banging headache. I wish they would fuse my neck so I can get on with my life.

Not much going on in the writing. Lots of notes. Lots of thinking. Some discussions within on-line friends.

bookmark_borderString Theory

So I got this ball of string, see it? It is my novel. Here, read it.

Well, see, that’s the problem. Readers need to unravel that string in order to read it from beginning to end.

Which means I need to write it that way.

I’ve yammered about this before, several times actually. I need to yammer about it again for my benefit, to remind me of where I am going with this story. With any story.

I’ve dug myself into a hole and I need to figure out how the hell to get out of it. I think I’m going to chuck that entire concept and pretend I never wrote that drivel.

Please ignore the fraying you may find as you unroll the ball of string.

—————-
Listening to: The Jeff Healey Band – I Can’t Get My Hands On You
via FoxyTunes

bookmark_borderButch Girl Books

I’ve decided to continue with BG3 vs working on SS pt 2. It is well over halfway finished and I am more sure of just how it will finish. I also read through BG4 last night. I had forgotten how interwoven with BG3 it is so I made a few changes to BG3 and made a lot of note changes to BG4.

These BG books, which is short for the Butch Girl series, are fun to write. I so love the characters I have created and the new ones that are in notes waiting to be made real in the novels. Kelly and Grace, the MCs from BG1 (aka Butch Girls Can Fix Anything) appear in all the books as does the side characters Harri, Kaye, Annette, Nikki, Rain, and Lucy the Brat. New ones will be Liz, Ellen, Sam, Chaz, and a few others I’ve not got firm names for.

At any rate, thought I’d update y’all on what I am doing. Lorna has the print-out of SS. When she’s done, we’ll discuss what she thinks of it and I’ll either edit more (the most likely scenario) or I will send it off to RCE.

—————-
Listening to: The Jeff Healey Band – How Much
via FoxyTunes