I know, a play on a phrase, but I like it so get over it.
Contrary to my behavior and lifestyle, I am not agoraphobic. I do like going out and hanging with folks. I will admit, however, that I am claustrophobic. And crowds, me at butt level while everyone else is standing, tends to freak me somewhat. This is why I rarely go to Walmart or Kmart or the mall (gasp!) during the holiday season.
Funny story: a friend of ours, Richard, died a number of years ago. He and I loved to tease each other mercilessly. He used to threaten to blow out the candle he’d light to pray for me. At any rate, he died suddenly and we attended the memorial. As a gay man, most of his friends were male and, with it being a memorial, most of them were in black suits. I didn’t go in my chair, not knowing if the church was accessible. We wound up sitting in the middle of a pew. During the service, folks were asked to stand for some things, like singing or prayers or whatever. Each time they stood, it got very dark! All those dark suits that surrounded me really cut down on the light. I tried to not laugh, but it was something Richard would have thought hilarious, and it was very difficult for me to keep quiet. But since I was so busy trying to not laugh, I didn’t get the chance to get claustrophobic.
At any rate, my point is that I like being around folks who are funny, witty, rolls with the punches, and generally know the difference between teasing and being serious. I have been told many times by folks that they never act this way except around me. I help to bring out their inner child. I hope it is because they feel safe.
Gay men, when they gather in their flocks, are very touchy-feely. They grab and fondle and lean and hug and, unless you know who came in together, it is easy to lose track of who is partnered with whom.
Lesbians, on the other hand, tend to be the opposite. I have seen sane, common-sense-filled women go nuts if another woman touches their partner. Flirting with someone’s girl is akin to smacking someone’s face with a white glove.
I must have been a gay male in a previous life because I am a flirt. I love touching and feeling and hugging, although that varies with the company. Lorna is cool with me looking and admiring ’cause she knows I will always go home with her and no one else. Now, I don’t grab a stranger’s butt or touch sexually, that is a personal-space issue. But I am not above using flattery and related comments.
This gives sitting while others are standing a certain advantage. Women are constantly leaning over to speak with me, or lean against my chair. I get more boobs in my ear than most people realize! And when they lean over, I often get wonderful views….
I have the unique privilege of having just joined a group of lesbian writers and readers in an email list. These women are exactly what I like. They flirt, make comments, tease–all things that are essential to my well-being. Right now there is a thread about butches and femmes. They feel free to discuss this–via teasing and innuendo–through the email and I don’t doubt they would do the same if in public.
Maybe at the upcoming convention I’ll get more in my ears. 😀