A Little Better

At first I thought I was sick enough to die. Then I was afraid I wasn’t going to.

I am at the point now where I do believe I will live. We went out today and I managed to eat half a sandwich at Denny’s, the first solid food I’ve had since last Wednesday evening. The sandwich stayed where it was supposed to. I’ll know I am better when I can get up without feeling dizzy and can go all day without feeling exhausted and needing a nap.

Lorna was supposed to go Nawth and be with her sister, who is turning 50. But because I am not truly better yet, she’s decided to stay home. We both thought I’d be better by now but nope.

There’s an old joke I want to share. The parts of the body were arguing as to who should be boss. The brain, of course, said it should be since it was, after all, the brain. The heart said it should be since it provides blood to everyone else. The hands said they should be since it is their work that brings home the food to feed them all. Brain was winning the arguments when the asshole pipes up and says it wants to be boss. Well, of course this just got the other body parts to laughing. So, the asshole decided to stop working. The brain got feverish. The heart’s rhythm was off. The hands were shaky. The entire body was suffering. Finally, the others got together and convinced the brain to let the asshole be boss. It did and so the asshole started working again and the rest of the body recovered. The moral of the story is that you do not need to be a brain to be boss. Just an asshole.

I won’t get into any detail but I will be glad when Lorna and I can discuss more mundane things other than if I went poop and was it good or bad. I see the doc tomorrow so I’ll know more then based on some tests they started on Saturday. Knowing my luck, they’ll want more done. Why can’t I just catch a normal stomach or intestinal bug? Noooo, I had to go and get something permanent. Typical.

So, Winston, is this enough for you? I am alive. I am still sick but not as bad.